The results are in! You, the voters have spoken and anointed a new crop of “the worst of the worst.” Without further ado, let’s get to it!
1. Unpresentable Presenters, Part 1
I see that sly smile on Lori’s face. She’s punking us, right? I mean, she has to be. Because who would actually wear that tie-dyed nightmare out of the house. Or, in the house, for that matter. I know for sure that the sight of it would scare my cats. The screeching and yowling would be almost as ear-splitting as Mally on an Over 50 & Fabulous show. Time to retire the tie-dying vats, Lori! (57% of the vote)
2. Boobs and Butts and Camel Toe, Oh My!
I can sum up this winner in one sentence - Whoever had the idea to add ruching to the seat of one’s pants is out of his or her mind and should be fired immediately! I’m sure the model agrees. (41% of the vote)
3. Models’ Walk of Shame, Part 1
What exactly is Deanna wearing? Is it a dress? A nightgown with matching bed jacket? (Which, of course, you can dress up and wear out on date night!) On first glance, I thought it was a choir robe…until I saw the lacy details. Sexy choir robe? (Forgive her, Lord.) Whatever it is, she looks like a sack of potatoes in it and you have to work pretty hard to make Deanna look like a sack of potatoes. A worthy winner in this category with 54% of the vote.
4. It’s Blabby Time!
There’s never a dull moment in the Blabby category. We can always count on her to provide a plethora of bad looks for our voting pleasure. The winning look this time around is a horse blanket. Not just any horse blanket, mind you. A purple and pink plaid horse blanket. Horses across America are embarrassed by this display. Apparently, Blabby felt that the belt provided the finishing touch. So appropriate, because Grandpa Rudolph invented belts (along with shoes, of course). And somewhere in the Rudolph family tree, a long-ago ancestor bred the first horse. So, we’ve come full circle with this winning look (48% of the vote)! Mr. Ed gives it a thumbs-down.
5. The Too Tight Club
The Jockey OAP is a founding member of the Too Tight Club and this sweater-dress puts her on the road to the Hall of Fame. If you listen closely, you can hear that berry-colored knit screaming for mercy. “Help me before I explode!” it cries. It looks like the OAP is hanging on to the panty mannequin for dear life, just in case that explosion occurs. Size up, my dear, before somebody gets hurt. (37% of the vote)
#6. JCon Can’t Even Manifest Good Style
I’m guessing that “sense of style” was not on JCon’s vision board. Because if it was, her manifestation powers failed miserably. A white jumpsuit isn’t a friend to anyone bigger than a twig. As Shakira says, hips don’t lie. And, of course, JCon chose white, because wasn’t she in the midst of her endless phase of white outfits to celebrate her white wedding? This one rates a Billy Idol (
White Wedding) sneer, and 39% of the votes.
7. Too Much Makeup, Photo Filters or Plastic Surgery
CoKo went for the trifecta in this category, lit’rally fulfilling all three requirements when only one was necessary to be nominated - too much makeup, photo filters AND Plastic surgery. In her quest to join the Kardashian clan, she’s out-plumped, out-tightened and out-smoothed the K girls. (57% of the vote)
8. A Host of Unfashionable Hosts
In a nail-biter, Debbie D of HSN narrowly edged out Chelsea of QVC with this ill-fitting outfit. Both were wearing tops with horizontal stripes - which didn’t flatter either of them - but Debbie’s top was tight, and too short for the wide-leg crop pants she had on. Why was this unfortunate? That short top couldn’t hide the fact that all of the excess material in the pants resulted in a most unpleasant front wedgie (and doesn’t the term “wedgie” just bring back middle school nightmares for many?). Blame this winning combo (26% of the vote) on the wedgie.
9. Shawnie Sue, Style Maven
I once joked that we need a category called “Clothes That Will Go Airborne.” This jacket fits the bill. Dreaming of being a pilot? Forget flight school! Just put this on, wait for a big wind gust and, bingo - airborne! Shawnie Sue earned her wings in this quilted mess, with 52% of the vote.
10. It’s So Bad That Even Leah Has Her Own Category
QVC, what have you done with our Leah? Is this some frumpy clone that you created in a lab under the guise of Project Athena? The Leah we know wears classy clothes and high heels and wouldn’t be caught dead in this mess of baggy cropped jeans and sneakers. Or - gasp- have you reprogrammed her as part of your slobbification initiative? If so, you will be promptly reported to the fashion police. Slobbification is a fashion felony and you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law! (49% of the vote)
11. Things You’ll Never Find in My Closet
Remember spin art from back in the day? You’d sit at a spinning table with some squeeze bottles filled with a variety of paint colors and work your magic. Splat! Splursh! Sploosh! And, voila - art! I suspect Isaac has a spin art table in his studio, and the print on these hideous pants was the result. Hopefully he’s donated that table and all his squeeze bottles to Goodwill. (31% of the vote)
12. No More Half-Tuck, Half & Half Clothes or Cold Shoulders!
There’s color blocking, and then there’s “let’s grab every scrap piece of ‘fabrication’ we have in the factory and make it into a jacket.” The result is this winning schmatta (48% of the vote). We can’t even really call it a Half & Half jacket - it’s more like a Quarter & Quarter & Quarter & Quarter jacket. It could play the lead role in a summer stock performance of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” Except it’s not as pretty. It’s relegated to the understudy’s understudy.
13. Unpresentable Presenters, Part 2
Well, at least MarkCharles went with a vertical stripe (sorry buddy, it didn’t help). A physique like that doesn’t need sparkle and shine. I have one word for you, MC - Spanx. (38% of the vote)
14. Models’ Walk of Shame, Part 2
Well, dang! That thar dress that meemaw ‘n’ me sewed up at the quiltin’ bee done won first place! Meemaw sez that’s a whole lot better than Jethro, our prize hog, winnin’ the blue ribbon at the county fair! We’re fixin’ to do some stitchin’ at the next bee, so y’all just wait ‘n’ see what purty things we gonna make for the next judgin’! (45% of the vote)
That’s a wrap, folks! Thanks, as always, for your participation in these polls, and for all of your screenshots that help fill my photo file. Speaking of the photo file, my January to June 2025 file is open and already has a few nominees for the next one. Here’s to another six months of bad fashion, snark, and lots of laughs! 
